Someday...

OK so I know I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm going to start making it a priority. I don't know that too many people stop by my blog, but I would like to keep a better record of the ins and outs of "Freeman life", if you will.

So where do I start??

I've been very reflective the past few weeks. Reflecting on my life up to now, my husband, my marriage, my children, my parents, brothers, in-laws (my second family), and the events that have somewhat shaped me up to now. 2008 has been a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions for me and my family. I found out in February I had a hole in my heart, I lost an Aunt in March (which I think left a bigger hole), I had surgery in May, Emma turned "one", Luke graduated 5th grade, Kyle has shot up like a weed, Ron and I will be married 12 years this month and then we turn 30 in November. Good grief!

One of the major things I've been reflecting on lately is my family. For those of you who don't know, I have the best family in the world. I'm not just talking about my parents and brothers and Ron's family. I mean my Aunts and Uncles. My Grandma and my Cousins. They rock. In fact Ron even says they took him in and made him one them. Growing up I may not have had much, but I had them. We all had each other. I think that's why this year has been especially hard. We lost one and it hurts. It hurts so bad that I don't think I can go an hour or less without thinking about Her. I think about that day all the time. The day we, as a family, became broken. I have a picture on my cell phone of Emma playing in the living room and everything was how it should be. But then, in one minute, in one phone call, everything around you can shatter into a million pieces.

I want to know why.
Why now?
Why Her?

Someday is the answer I get. Someday you'll know. Someday it won't matter. Someday you'll see Her again. I know. But it still hurts. It hurts me for Her mother, Her children, Her grandchildren, Her sisters and brothers, and Her nieces and nephews.

I wish we could all live close, like when I was younger. I want to see them everyday. I want to play with Aunt Dawn, Jessica and Marla (the girls). I want to race Josh, Matt and Erick (the boys) in the back yard. I want to eat at the ironing board again. I want to go back, just for one day. To see Andrew and Robyn when they were about the same size. I want to take all of them and lock them away so nothing like this will ever happen again. I want them all to know that I think about them everyday. Not just some of them but ALL of them. I don't want any of them to ever doubt how much they mean to me and to this family. So for my family who reads this, I love you. More than you'll ever know, I love you. My memories with you are some of the greatest times in my life. So in memory of Aunt Darla, I want to tell everyone I miss you, I love you and I can't wait to see you again. Oh and thanks for being the best family in the world. You guys rock my socks off!